When Your Ex Was Also Your Best Friend

Losing a partner is painful. Losing a partner who was also your best friend can feel like losing two people at once. The person you would normally turn to for comfort is the very person who is gone, which makes this kind of heartbreak especially disorienting.

Grieving two losses

When your ex was your closest confidant, the breakup takes away both the romance and your go-to source of support. You may keep reaching for your phone to tell them something, only to remember. That double loss deserves extra patience and compassion.

Finding your footing

• Lean on other friends and family to begin filling the support role your ex once held.
• Allow yourself to grieve the friendship as fully as the relationship.
• Resist staying in close contact too soon, which can keep the wound from closing.

It is natural to feel adrift without the person who knew you best. Rebuilding other close connections takes time, but it does happen.

Whether or not a friendship is ever possible later, your first task is to heal. In time, you may build new bonds of deep trust, and you may rediscover that you can be your own steady source of comfort too. The closeness you shared was real, and it taught you how to connect deeply, which you will do again.